Existential Crisis

What’s your calling in life? Big question I know. I personally think I know the answer to this question, but life hands you a few curveballs and then you’re doubting myself, like proper doubting yourself.  An existential crisis is when an individual starts to wonder what life means, and what their calling or purpose is. For some people, the lack of answers cause conflict from within leading to frustration and in extreme cases depression.

At some point in the last week, it dawned on me that I may be experiencing an existential crisis. I’ve had quite tough conversations with myself, maybe almost possible accepting that what I’ve envisioned for my life may very well not come to pass, but at the same time… hmm. I’m unsure if there’s anyone like this, but have you ever been so sure of your calling, as in you have a certain passion or gift and you KNOW that’s what you’re meant to do, I don’t know how you know, but you just know, you know? Lol, apologies if it’s a bit confusing, I don’t really understand it myself. I often think back to the when Stormzy performed at Glastonbury in 2019 – the first black British solo artist to do so, massive for the black brit culture in UK. Going back to 2013, where Stormzy would have dropped wickedskengman (part 1), who would have guessed that 6 years later he’d be the first black British solo artist to perform at Glastonbury, but he knew.  He said everything in his life was gearing to that point, he knew that he was meant to do something great; I don’t know if he necessarily knew he was going to headline Glastonbury but this is what I allude to.

I’m not sure if everyone feels like that, but I know I do, if I was to speak about my aspirations people will literally think I’m a nutcase and I understand it, it wouldn’t make sense to people given my current circumstances, some days it doesn’t even make sense to me. My problem lies where I’ve been working so hard towards this goal and I’m close to achieving it, then sh!t happens which knocks you about 8 steps back. I literally get so confused when I think about it, trying to understand why these setbacks happen and I can only conclude that it’s not meant to be, but then what else am I supposed to do? You see my predicament. Life ☹

Faith and confidence is my bread and butter, but I can’t lie in these unprecedented times both are feeling the strain, more so the confidence. I feel like you get to a stagnant point, and you don’t know what to do to provoke progress again. There are so many factors outside of your control, you’re left like a sitting duck waiting on ‘nature’ to behave in a way conducive to your progress. Then time goes, and everyday you’re left with nothing but your thoughts, self doubt nibbling at you. It’s tight. I believe it really does take strength to not succumb to these negative thoughts and give up, I’ve seen it happen with many other people.

I guess you think, how do you deal with an existential crisis? For me personally:

  1. RIDE THE WAVE, don’t let the thoughts manifest into something more than what it is: just thoughts.
  2. BEING SELF AWARE helps massively, understanding that you’re in this space, and avoiding things that will make it worse, i.e. comparing yourself, thinking about past decisions, anything that might trigger you, at the same time being self aware means you can motivate yourself to leave this space, whether that means positive affirmations and thoughts, surrounding yourself with good support, talking to someone etc. Each person’s way to deal with this is unique to the individual
  3. KEEP THE FAITH – It’s not over till it’s over, you have your passion for a reason, don’t do yourself an injustice by giving up. I think many people find themselves setting time limits to their own success, and panic when time is running out, but remember God’s timing is best, not yours.
  4. PRAY – Being a man of faith, I heavily rely on Christ as my foundation, and it’s through Him who I lean on in troubled times, so I’d strongly advise building a relationship with God and you’d feel more at ease during times like these, prayer and faith is what keeps you going, communication to know you’re on the right path, I believe that God can do the impossible and I’m not even asking for the impossible!
  5. TRUST THE PROCESS – Life is a journey, you don’t know tomorrow, so try not to stress too much about it, trust that what you’re doing is what is right and you’ll get there!

Well, that’s what I have to say on that, I hope it all made sense but all in all, whatever your endeavours are, don’t give up!

Stay blessed



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