Are you in a relationship that makes you more frustrated than happy? Do you feel constantly stressed, aggravated, and unappreciated – rather than elated and in love? If this is the case, you may be in a toxic relationship.
Toxic relationships are generally detrimental to both parties involved. In extreme situations, one or both partners may be abused on a regular basis. If you are in a dangerous relationship, these four self-discipline techniques from The RealTalk Blog will help you get out safely and effectively.
- Make A Conscious Decision
At the beginning, all you need to do is make a conscious decision that you want to end the relationship. Write this decision down and share it with the people you love. It’s important that you hold yourself accountable for your choice. There’s no going back.
After making a strong decision to leave your partner, you’ll need to actually go through the difficult process of walking away. You’ll have to decide whether you want to offer an explanation and subsequent conversation – or just pack up your things and leave. If you’ve been abused, you don’t owe your abuser an explanation. In fact, it might be best to have someone come with you to collect your belongings.
- Establish Boundaries
Once you’ve officially left the relationship, establish boundaries. These don’t need to be spoken boundaries between you and the person you’ve left. Rather, these are boundaries for yourself. Are you willing to talk about him or her with your loved ones? Are you interested in hearing about his or her life after you? Or would you feel better keeping distance between yourself and mutual friends until the smoke has cleared? You decide what boundaries you want to set. Then write them down and stick with them. Eventually, this will become your new normal.
If your ex attempts to contact you during this period of time, you can choose to ignore the message. You can also choose to send your list of boundaries, and ask that he or she kindly respect them. This will make it clear that you are not coming back.
- Eliminate Communication Methods
After boundaries have been successfully established, eliminate all possible methods of communication. This includes blocking your ex on all social media websites. It also means blocking emails, phone numbers, and text messages from reaching your phone. At first, you’ll be tempted to unblock the number. Over time, however, it will become easier and easier to forget. As Your Tango points out, this is how the slow process of moving on begins. Any reminders or triggers of the relationship will only keep the grieving process going longer than necessary.
- Write Down Reminders
When you first leave your toxic relationship, write down all of the reasons why. You’ll keep these reminders in a journal. As time goes on, you’ll add to the journal each time you think about the relationship and what went wrong. These reminders will be the barrier that keeps you from going back. Your friends and family might remind you what your ex did, but nothing will be able to convince you like your own words.
- Take Care of Yourself
Ending a relationship is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do, and as if that isn’t enough, Hey Sigmund notes that you may experience physical and mental symptoms such as appetite changes, weight fluctuations, lack of motivation, headaches, stomach pain, depression, and loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. Experiencing these symptoms is completely normal, but you don’t have to let them win.
Self-care is the best method and should be whatever gives you the comforting and safe feelings associated with love. Go on a hike, get a massage, find a new hobby, or spend time journaling. Keep in mind, now that your relationship has ended, you may find yourself spending more time at home than usual. Make sure you have a stress-free home to aid in the healing, as taking care of yourself includes creating a positive environment, too.
Keep these methods in mind as you consider ending your toxic relationship. If you aren’t sure whether or not your relationship needs to end, consider the warning signs and take note of the ones you have experienced in the past as well as the present.
Whatever your situation, remember that walking away is a permanent decision. You deserve to be happy. And, in time, you deserve to move on.
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